Waves of Immortality
by BraidedTissues
Summary: When a mysterious voice tells Percy to become a god, he accepts Zeus's offer. He meets the twins that told him to find out that they were gods and they ask him to help them find out who their mother is, since they only know Apollo is their father.Crackfic
1. Chapter 1

This is going to be a three shot, because we realized that we couldn't write a whole bunch of chapters on this story.

Full summary: When a mysterious voice tells Percy the obvious fact that he can turn Annabeth into a goddess when he becomes a got, he accepts Zeus's offer. He meets the twins that told him to dfind out that they were gods, and knew who their father was (Apollo) but not their mother. They enlist his help, which admittedly isn't the best idea. Crack.

Disclaimer: We don't own any Percy Jackson characters, as much as we'd like to. Riordan has yet to give them up. Only Harris and Arrish are ours :)

(Starts off with the moment Zeus offers him immortality)

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"The Council agrees," Zeus said. "Percy Jackson, you will have one gift from the gods."

"Any gift?" I asked. Zeus nodded grimly.

"I know what you will ask. The greatest gift of all. Yes, if you want it, it shall be yours. The gods have not bestowed this gift on a mortal hero in many centuries, but, Perseus Jackson-if you wish it- you shall be made a god. Immortal Undying. You shall serve as your father's lieutenant for all time." I stared at Zeus.

"Um... a god?" I asked, stunned. I thought back to when Annabeth was going to become a huntress. I'd been on the edge of a panic attack, thinking that I'd lose her.  
_Idiot,_ a voice said. I looked around.

"Wha..." _Shut your mouth. I can't be found out,_ the voice scolded. I clamped my mouth shut. _You can have Annabeth once you become a god. Hello, ever here Dionysus blab about his now **immortal** wife? You can do the same, buddy._ I blinked. How in the face DUH that was.

"I accept this generous offer," I spoke clearly. Zeus nodded and the gods/goddesses began a low humming sound. Sparkly things surrounded me. I shivered as my body absorbed them. I tensed, waiting for some kind of pain, but none came. I felt like I could run for miles without tiring, eat a thousand ice creams without ever getting full, not sleep for days on end with no afterthought. I grinned, stretching my now wired muscles._ Good boy,_ the voice said in a babying tone. I grunted in response.

"Let us celebrate!" Zeus shouted, a pulse running through the room. Music began to play and floating food appeared. I grinned and made my way over to Grover and Annabeth.

"You...took the offer? You are a god now?" Annabeth whimpered, the hurt girlfriend look playing into her eyes.

"I guess you don't need a protector anymore," Grover mumbled in response, and I rolled my eyes. I grabbed both of their hands and dragged them both into a separate room.

"Okay, take those looks off of your face. I'm a god, what can gods do?" I started. Annabeth scrunched her nose up and Grover shrugged.

"Nag?" Grover joked. Annabeth smiled slightly. I grinned.

"Yes, but I can also change others into immortals!" Annabeth gasped.

"Of course!"

"Now let's see..." I began and closed my eyes. _Make Annabeth a goddess, make Annabeth a goddess,_ I chanted in my head. I heard giggling, so I opened my eyes and saw Annabeth covered in eerie green sparkle.

"It tickles!" She laughed. A booming scream came from the room we had just left.

"PERSEUS JACKSON! NO!" Zeus's voice wailed, but it was too late, Annabeth was already going through the process.

"YOU IDIOT!!!!" Athena shouted, grabbing Annabeth by the arm.

"What did I do?!" I wailed. Annabeth suddenly gave a jittery shake, and strange green dots began covering her arms. Athena disappeared, whisking Annabeth along with her.

"You haven't practiced your powers on anything yet!" Poseidon yelled.

"Is she gonna be okay?!" I asked.

"Nope," Ares smirked, all the other gods shot him glares.

"Percy, what were you thinking?" Hermes sighed. Poseidon shook his head and face-palmed himself.

"I was only trying to make me and my love be together..." I whimpered.

"Ooh! Let Annabeth become a goddess! Let her become one! Oh please oh please oh please!" The love goddess giggled and jumped up and down in the air.

"Peerrcyyy!" Grover bleated. Everyone turned to look at the furry boy, wondering what he had to say about this matter. He leaned in towards me and blushed a deep scarlet color, "Where's the little goats room?"

"Umm... that way?" I pointed in a random direction. Grover scurried off, clip-clopping on the marble floor. I turned back to my audience.

"Can we save her?" I asked again. Aphrodite mouthed a huge yes, making heart motions in the air. Ares gave an evil smirk and shook his head slowly. Zeus and Hera glowered at me while Poseidon rubbed his temples. Hades didn't seem to care, Apollo and Artemis were exchanging 'WTF' glances.

"Well????" Zeus cleared his throat.

"I can," A small voice said. Everyone turned to see Hestia poking at the fire with a stick, "If you just believe."

"Okay, were not in some crazy Peter Pan remake, so I kind of doubt 'believing' will help us," I seethed and Hestia whimpered and started tearing up.

"Great job, you've only been a god for ten minutes and you've already made someone cry," Hades smiled.

"But, since I can't take much more wailing," Zeus muttered, he snapped his fingers, and the hearth suddenly swallowed Hestia.

"She's GONE!"

"Wow, good observation." I glared at my now least favorite god.

"Anyway, you're probably going to have to just forget about Annabeth," Hera said.

"What?! Why?!" I cried. Athena suddenly appeared back in the room.

"She...well...," Athena murmured, the suddenly burst into tears. Like, literally, one moment she was standing there, the next, nothing but a puddle.

"Where did she-" I started but Aphrodite interrupted me.

"When Gods or Goddesses feel an over powering emotion they usually go through a change, like so," she pointed to the puddle, "She'll be okay in a little while though." I stared at the puddle before turning my gaze back to the goddess.

"So does this mean Annabeth isn't okay?" Aphrodite shrugged.

"She's either dead, on the brink of death, or laughing at us right now."

"But Annabeth doesn't laugh, she has no personality!" I pointed out, the gods all agreeing with me.

"So her fate involves death?" Apollo asked scratching his head.

"Don't ask me, you're the god of prophecies!"

"Oh, right." I rolled my eyes.

"Look, I just want to see my girlfriend. Can anybody do that?"

"I think I could be of assistance," someone said. The gods/goddesses parted to reveal a girl with blond hair and blue eyes. She walked towards me.

"Hello, I'm Arrish," she introduced.

"Uh.. buh.. gehh.." I stuttered. Arrish sighed.

"Harris!" she called. An Asian-looking boy with dark hair and blue eyes appeared behind Arrish.

"Yeah?" he asked, apparently annoyed that he got bothered.

"Can you talk to him? All boys seem to turn to goo when I do." Arrish smiled and winked at Percy. Harris rolled his blue eyes and stepped towards Percy.

"Perseus Jackson," Harris, looked me up and down and snorted, "Your _him?"_

_"_I'm who?" Percy asked, slightly confused. Harris sighed, as if annoyed by all the attention.

"The hero that supposedly saved the gods," he explained, looking at me with disbelief. He closed his eyes and shrugged.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!?" I shouted. Harris raised an eyebrow.

"That I don't believe your physically or mentally capable of even swinging a sword?" Harris said, again like he was explaining it to me.

"I am too!" I countered, he chuckled to himself and I pulled riptide out of my pocket and uncapped it. "HAI-YAH!"

"Of course, typical, make the ninja noises around the Asian kid," Harris growled.

"RACISIT!" Hades called from the sidelines. When I shot him a glare, he smiled and winked. I turned back to Harris, rage engulfing my body.

"YOU WANNA GO, KID?!?" I battle-cried. Harris shrugged. I gave another yell and charged. Harris reached his arm over his shoulder and pulled out a long sword. I swung at him over my head, which he blocked with a dagger he was holding. He swung at my stomach, the sword clanging off my armor. I swung Riptide at his waist, which he dodged, jumping up. He used the tip of his sword to thrust Riptide out of my hand, then had my neck at the point of dagger.

Harris snorted, then stepped back, sheathing his sword. He stuck the dagger into the belt on his waist, then leaned up against one of the pillars. I stood there, panting.

"Some hero you are," Harris snorted.

"Shu-shut up!" I breathed. He rolled his eyes.

"That was AWESOME!" Apollo exclaimed and started clapping. Soon all the other gods followed suit.

"HARRIS, BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA HIM AGAIN!" Hermes demanded.

"Ok," Harris smiled, and pulled out his sword and dagger again.

"WAIT! STOP!" I heard a voice yelp. I turned around and saw Grover running straight at me, a little piece of toilet paper stuck to his hoof. "YOU MUSN'T FIGHT AMONGST YOURSELVES! THIS IS MADNESS!" (A/N: You don't know how much I wanted to type, 'this is Sparta!' after that) I rubbed my temple in irritation, then pointed my finger at Harris.

"How are you so good? I'm a god now!" Harris rolled his eyes.

"Did it ever occur to you that my sister and I are gods too?" I opened my mouth then closed it.

"No," I answered honestly, and stared at my feet.

"Yeah, thought so."

"Then what are you the god of?" I asked him. He sighed.

"Haven't you already figured it out?" I paused.

"Umm... yeah you're god of... uhh..." I looked at Arrish for help. She sighed too.

"I know...erm you.. you're the god of...battling..stuff?" I muttered sheepishly.

"NO, THATS ME!" Ares boomed, and Hermes chuckled.

"You really are a fool," Arrish chuckled. I glared at her, still wracking my brains.

"God of... ermm.. awesomeness?" I guessed halfheartedly. Everyone in the room pretty much rolled their eyes.

"You suck!" Someone called from the crowd that had gathered.

"JUST TELL HM ALREADY AND STOP MAKING HIM LOOK LIKE A FOOL!" Poseidon called. I glared at him and he gave me a thumbs up.

"I'm god of time," Harris said in a plain tone. I stared at him.

"What happened to Kronos?" I asked. Harris looked around.

"Don't tell him, okay?" he whispered. I nodded, a bit confused since Kronos was dead and all.

"So how does that make you a good fighter?" I asked, still very confused.

"Time is on my side," Harris smiled, turned and walked away from me.

"Hey, wait!" I called. Harris stopped, spun around and raised an eyebrow.

'Can you go back in time and save Annabeth?" I begged.

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Cause I never really liked her."

"But you haven't even met her!"

"And this matters because..."

"GAH!" I cried out in frustration. Harris chuckled.

"Harris, stop toying with the boy, he has a fragile heart," Aphrodite scolded.

"My heart is not fragile!" I muttered, but was glad someone was sticking up for me. Harris rolled his eyes. There was an awkward silence.

"This happens when the authors don't know what to write next," Zeus whispered.

"Well the lets do something!" Grover said. "DDR party!"

"Grover, you fool! Gods don't DDR.... THEY PLAY DISNEY SING-IT!" Ares bellowed and scampered off to get the Wii.

"Woo-hoo! Par-tay ovah her-uh!" Grover chanted, and busted out some crazy goat dance moves. Soon the place was filled with loud music and nobody was paying attention to the 'crisis' at hand. I sat down dejectedly in the corner.

"You okay?" I voice asked. I looked up and Arrish was standing there, smiling sadly at me.

"I guess," I told her. She sighed and leaned against the wall.

".... are you?" I felt obliged to ask. She shook her head.

"Just the same old thing bothering me," she said. I cocked my head to the side.

"My dad is Apollo but we don't know who our mom is," Arrish sighed.

"So there is a possibility that you're not a god?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No, were definitely gods and goddesses, but Apollo won't admit which one is our mom," Arrish explained, looking around skeptically. I stared each of the gods down.

"Well let's hope it's not Poseidon. Then I would feel awkward for being attracted to you," I said.

"PERCY!" I heard someone yell in disbelief. I turned around to see Annabeth there, ungodly and such.

"Uhh... well this is awkward..." I muttered. "You're okay!!!!!"

"Oh don't try to change the subject!" Annabeth yelled.

"Who is this?" Arrish asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Annabeth," I muttered.

"The girl you almost killed?"

"Yep."

"Percy," Annabeth growled again and came running towards me, dagger in hand.

"Aww shit," I swore, dodging the attack. We battled for a few moments before Harris came sauntering over. Annabeth dropped her knife and stared at him. I shot Harris an unfair glance. He just grinned.

"Mind not fighting? This is sort of a party," he commented. Annabeth swooned slightly.

"O-of course! Percy started it!" I gaped at her as she ran off into the crowd.

"And that's supposed to be your love interest?" Harris asked, glancing at her retreating back. I slumped back against the wall, my mood no better.

"Shut up," I warned. Harris raised an eyebrow as if to say 'Do you really want to fight me again'?

"Oh, Harris, stop!" Arrish chuckled. Harris stared at her for a while, then stalked off into the crowd after Annabeth. When Harris was gone, Arrish grabbed my hand and led me out of the room.

"Where are we going?" I asked her, but she didn't answer. Arrish pulled me down several hallways until we came to a room lit by candles. I secretly hoped this was going where I thought it going. Arrish sat me down on a couch.

"You have to help me and my brother," she said. Okay. Maybe this wasn't going where I thought it was.

"Help you with what?" She looked down at her feet.

"No one will tell us," She mumbled to herself.

"Tell you what?" I pressed on. She looked up, with those sad puppy-dog eyes of hers.

"Who my parents are!" she wailed. I patted her back awkwardly.

"I'm really sorry," I tried to reassure her, but tears were pouring out of her eyes now.

"I just don't see why- why can't they- don't they understand why I want- I JUST WANT TO KNOW!" She sobbed.

"I didn't know who my dad was for a while," I murmured.

"No one cares about you!" A voice suddenly snapped. I turned around and saw Harris standing there.

"Yeah..." Arrish agreed. "We just kinda wanna know who our parents are."

"And why should I help you?" I nearly snarled.

"Because we can turn Annabeth immortal?" Arrish pointed out.

"REALLY?" I squealed. They looked at me for a moment, then nodded their heads in unison.

"I can't believe you still like her though..." Harris sighed.

"She was the only girl that thought I was cute..." I trailed off and Harris snickered.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!" Aphrodite's voice thundered.

"She was the only girl that I thought was cute," I repeated. Aphrodite slid out from behind a statue she was apparently hiding behind.

"You were spying on us?" Arrish asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Aphrodite answered then turned back to me, "WHAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER?!" I gulped.

"Oh yeah, them," I stammered, I watched the iris's of her eyes go from blue to flaming red. Literally, they were flames.

"Sorry!" I squeaked. Aphrodite gave me a death glare before disappearing in a pile of burnt roses. Harris and Arrish stared at me for a moment then went back to discussing their plan.

"Maybe Apollo keeps a diary or something-"

"Yeah,_ he _probably does."

"And maybe he wrote down who are mom is-" But I tuned out after that, it was rather dull for my likings. After a few minutes a got a hard smack on the check. I looked over, expecting Annabeth or something, to see Harris, hands in his pockets, sister gone.

"Uhh ow?"

"Idiot. You weren't paying attention."

"Way to state the obvious." _Smack._

"Dude! OW!"

"Moron."

"That's what you are but what am I?" _Smack._

"Owwwwwwie!" _Smack._

"Stop Har-" _Smack._

"Your seriou-"_Smack._

"Har-" _Smack. Smack smack smack smacksmacksmacksmack. _

There was a moment of silence.

"Are you don-" _Smack._

"Yes."

I really hated this kid.

* * *

**-Giggle- Harris is based off our waiter we had when we were on a cruise. He was epic :)**  
**Review please!**

**-Cally and Laurie**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: We don't own Percy Jackson, but do enjoy poking fun at it**

**Warning: Chapter includes major (but abeit, funny) OOC-ness**

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Chapter 2:

I had no idea why I had joined on this quest with Harris, annabeth and Arrish. The Gods just announced that to find their mother, we needed to go on a quest. Apollo seemed to not like this idea. Maybe he does know who the mom is. But probably not. Apollo isn't the sharpest bulb in the drawer...or wait...is it the shed, or a spoon?

Urg, the point is that Apollo most likely didn't know, and so we had no leads. So now we were sitting in the middle of a field, with no plan.

"I vote we give up," Harris yawned.

"No! Never!" Arrish shouted. annabeth (I refuse to capitalize her name) scrunched up her nose in a now not-so-adorable way.

"Your seriously twins? You guys are like, opposites!" She snorted. Arrish and Harris blinked together then shrugged.

"Twins are weird," I decided.

"You're weird," annabeth said suddenly.

"Quite obviously," Harris pointed out. I scowled at him.

"Anyways," Arrish quickly said, "I think we should go to the place where we were born first."

"And where is that?" I asked. Arrish gave me a glittery look before snapping her fingers. We suddenly appeared on an island with a huge ass cradle in the middle of a field. I stared at it.  
"Original," annabeth commented.

"You must have been one big baby," I said in awe, still staring at the cradle.

"Why thank you," Harris said while passing me, and headed over to the cradle. Arrish was jumping around the field happily.

"So what do we do now?" I asked, sitting next to the cradle. Harris frowned.

"Oi! Arrish! What do we do now?" Harris called to his twin.

"We look for clues on who our mom is, silly!" she giggled. Harris rolled his eyes and began inspecting the cradle.

"Well there's this," Harris said while picking up one sandal that looked like it had been left behind in a rush.

"I think its Apollo's," I said pointing at the sandals decorative suns.

"Good job, seaweed brain," annabeth snorted.

"Ha, funny," Harris laughed and high-fived annabeth. I pouted and examined the cradle to see that there was some kind of symbol that was burnt.

"Hey, guys," I called them over. Arrish bent over and got really close to the symbol.

"It looks like an animal or something," she said.

"I think it looks like banana," I told them.

"Yeah cause our mom is the goddess of bananas," Harris joked.

"Oh my gods!" annabeth shouted, and her now un-attractive eyes widened. "Of course!"

"Uhh annabeth, I was just kidding," Harris said as annabeth ranted about the goddess of bananas. Arrish threw a rock at her, knocking her to the ground. Harris and I laughed, then resumed examining the cradle.

"Merp," annabeth made a groaning sound, and rolled over on her side.

"Nice shot," I smiled at Arrish, she giggled and bashfully flipped her hair.

"Hey guys look at this!" Harris suddenly called from faraway. I didn't even realized he had left my side, he had been so quiet. We walked over and saw he was inside the cradle and pointing to the blanket. I slipped through the bars (Yes, it was THAT big) and peered at the blanket.

"And what am I supposed to be looking at?" annabeth asked, always the idiotic one. Well not really, but whatever.

"Um that," Harris pointed to a skull, covered in hacking marks and dirt.

"OMFG!" I squealed and fell out of the crib.

"No, not that,_ that_!" Harris sighed and pointed again.

"Is it another banana?" annabeth asked, looking at the thing. I squinted at the rough drawing.

"This time it's an animal, I think," Harris said. I got closer to the strange glowing symbol and squinted my eyes, and leaned my head a little to the left.

"Like this it looks like a puppy!" I announced.

"AAWW LET ME SEE!" Arrish squealed and pushed herself to the front. She practically got nose-to-nose with the drawing (obviously a puppy has a nose) before Harris pulled her back.

"So which goddess likes puppies?" annabeth asked.

"Hera?"

"HELL TO THE NO!"

"...Hestia?"

"No, she just stares at that stupid fire all day..."

"Aphrodite?" Arrish leapt up, immediately declaring yes, but Harris shot out his hand and clamped it over her mouth.

"NO. Just no," he growled. annabeth and I frowned.

"I can't remember any other ones," I shrugged, annabeth nodding in agreement.

"Are you serious?" Harris asked, totally annoyed.

"Oh wait there's… No he's a boy...and there's.. No wait that's my grandma," I looked up at everyone. "I got nothing"

"Okay then, Demeter?" Harris asked confirming it with everyone.

"But you hate nature!" Arrish pointed out.

"Athena?" I piped up. annabeth gave Arrish and Harris a one over before giving me an incredulous look.

"What, we not good enough for you blondie?" Arrish growled.

"Well, can you tell me what the capital of Guatemala is?" annabeth quizzed.

"Guatemala City, c'mon, even someone like Percy would know that!" I looked awkwardly at the ground. Harris snickered at me before resuming thinking.

"Well it could be..."

"A minor god!" Arrish finished for him. They both shrugged.

"Puh-lease, do you really think Apollo would go for a _minor _god?" annabeth snuffed. Arrish wrinkled her nose.

"What, you have a thing for our dad or something?" she asked. annabeth blushed.

"Uhh, no, I mean, ummm," annabeth stuttered.

Wow. I really had no chance with her. Why did I try and make her a god again?

"Guys, stick to the topic," Harris sighed. annabeth then narrowed her eyes, and let out a low growl.

"You sound like Aunt Artemis's pack of dogs," Arrish said and suddenly her whole face lit up, then scrunched in disgust.

"What up?" I asked her.

"What if... y'know Artemis was..." she trailed off.

"Oh EWW!" Harris yelled.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"Arrish thinks Artemis is our..our..._mother"_ Harris explained, and gagged on the last word.

"EhmaEW!" I yelped. "How could you even think that?"

"Because it's true," Arrish groaned, pointing to the doe and wolf symbol that she just found on the cradle.

"Incesttttt," annabeth laughed.

"It's all incest, idiot," Harris snapped, a bit annoyed.

"This is just a really gross case of it considering there twins," Arrish groaned.

"I'm kind of scared now...aren't spawns of a couple that has gone through incest...supposed to be... y'know.." Harris began.

"Mutants?" annabeth smirked. "Well I think you guys are a perfect example of it."

"_Mutants?" _Arrish said in a high pitched mocking tone of annabeth. "DO YOU WANNA DIE AT AN EARLY AGE, BLONDIE, CAUSE I CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN!"

"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, BITCH!" annabeth yelled back, pulling out her knife.

"Whoa guys, there's no need to fight over me," I said, stepping in between them.

"Stay back Percy, I don't want a hair on your head to get hurt!"

"WE AREN'T FIGHTING OVER YOU SEAWEED BRAIN!"

I think you can guess who said which.

They began fighting as me and Harris sat on the ground.

"I like girl fights better when they don't know how to fight," Harris complained. I sighed in agreement.

"Well ever since they made Athena, goddess of war..." I trailed off as thunder rolled in the background.

"It's all been downhill from that," Harris finished for me.

"Plus, you smell!" annabeth screeched and pointed an accusing finger at Arrish. This fight must be getting good if it is already on the topic of personal scents. Arrish gasped dramatically.

"Oh, _I'm_ the one who smells?" she nearly sneered. "Who was the one who refused to put any deodorant on before the quest because you thought it attracts hydra's?"

"It does!" annabeth defended. Harris scoffed.

"BS!" we all called.

"But Luke told me so!" annabeth wailed.

"Luke is a lying bastard," Harris rolled his eyes.

"He's now a dead lying bastard," I corrected.

"But a cute, dead lying bastard," annabeth murmured and smiled.

"Ew! What next, you gonna rape his dead body?" Harris teased. annabeth looked sheepishly down at her sneakers.

"Holy. Crap. _You had sex with Luke's dead body?" _Arrish squealed, wrinkling her noise.

"Before the fates took his body away..." she admitted. I put my hands over my ears and began walking away.

"TMI TMI TMI!" I screamed. annabeth looked confused.

"It means too much information," Arrish said with a roll of her eyes. annabeth turned red.

"I _knew_ what it meant!" she replied angrily.

"Floccinaucinihilipilification," Harris suddenly blurted. We all turned to him in confusion

"Look it up," he defended. "It's a word!"

"Anyways, back to the real reason were on this quest..."

"Oh yeah, so you really think Artemis is..." Percy paused, and gagged a little. "Your mother?"

"She's the only one that...fits..."

"I am so killing both of them when I get back," Harris commented casually, walking back in the direction of New York City.

"Wait, what?" we all yelled.

* * *

**We're still laughing about the insaneness of this chapter. Seriously XD  
Review please!**

**-Cally and Laurie**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: We don't own Percy Jackson. But you have probably guessed that by now...**

* * *

Harris flung open the doors to the main gods/goddesses room, making a loud bang.

"Hey!" Dionysus complained, nursing his hangover from the previous Disney Sing-It party.

"YOU!" Harris pointed an accusing finger at Apollo. "YOU ARE COMPLETELY INSANE!"

"I know, but why am I insane this time?" Apollo sighed, resting his feet on the large marble table in front of his throne.

"BECAUSE WE FOUND OUT THAT YOU HAD FREAKIN SEX WITH AR-"

"Did you know there is no such thing as the Goddess of bananas?" annabeth suddenly butted in. Everyone stared, as annabeth got distracted by her golden hair that was sparkling from the sun. I swear her IQ dropped drastically in this story.

"You're bananas!" Harris accused, then continued on his yelling.

"If you don't want to die, I suggest you SHUT THE HELL UP," Dionysus said, his grape vines wrapped around Harris's neck. They unraveled slowly before Dionysus fell asleep.

"Maybe we should talk to Apollo alone," I suggested, glancing nervously at the wine god. Harris grumbled something about annoying drunk gods before walking into the back room. Apollo, Arrish, annabeth and I followed quickly.

"So what's up kiddies?" Apollo asked, leaning up against the back wall.

"We found out who are mother is," Arrish explained, and suddenly Apollo lost all the cool he had. He dropped to his knees, and started tugging on his hair like a mad man

"But, no you didn't, impossible! That's just- no uh, nope!" Apollo tried to reassure himself.

"Look we know it's-" Harris began. Apollo froze. I mean really, he turned into a block of ice.

"He's like the god of the sun," I frowned. "This isn't good." Harris growled in frustration and grabbed the flame thrower leaning against the wall. He turned it on full blast and aimed it at Apollo. The ice immediately melted, as Apollo's face un-froze, and shifted into an expression of fear.

"Yeah, that's right dad, we know you had sex with your sister." Harris frowned, and narrowed his eyes. For some reason annabeth gasped like this was some sort of fanfiction where the author keeps on playing out the so called "drama" to make the chapter seem longer and more amusing, and suddenly they finally reveal what happened, and its not so dramatic as they thought. Of course annabeth would gasp at that part.

Harris glanced at annabeth, before continuing ranting.

"And then you didn't 'play' safe, and you made babies! BABIES I TELL YOU! WITH YOUR OWN TWIN!"

"AHH!" I screamed, when something latched onto my leg. I looked down to see Artemis happily hugging my calve.

"My 'Harris and Arrish finally confronted Apollo about our wild sex' senses were tingling," she explained.

"What other kind of senses do you have?" I asked, trying to peel her off of my leg, but to no avail.

"I have the sense enough to tell that Arrish and Harris are really mad at me." she said whimpering at their glares. She looked up at me, "I also have the sense to know that- OH MY GOD! YOU SHAVE YOUR LEGS?"

She squealed and started stroking my ankle, and rubbing her face against my skin. I flushed bright red when everyone gave me weird looks.

"THEY'RE REALLY SOFT, COME FEEL HARRIS!" she yelled, pulling Harris down so his face was touching my calve.

"Dad!" he protested, trying to get Apollo's help.

"Shut up!" Apollo retorted.

"Ooh, I wanna feel!" Arrish giggled, and started petting my other leg.

"I FEEL VIOLATED!" I yelled, trying to wiggle everyone off. Strikes of lightning hit all of the people on my legs, but they didn't die so ya. But it got them off! YAY!

"What's going on here?" Zeus asked, strutting into the room. My dad followed behind. (Not strutting.)

"Okay so first me and Arrish were all like, ahhhh whose our mommy? And Percy was all like ahh, I wanna be immortal, and make annabeth my wife, but Percy's a fail and now annabeth hates him because he made annabeth have-"

"THE SHORTER VERSION, HARRIS!

"Oh," Harris pointed to Artemis, "DATS ME MOMMIE!" Zeus gagged and fell to the floor.

"Really guys?" my dad sighed. He rubbed his temples before picking Zeus back up.

"I thought I taught you better!" Zeus whined.

"You taught me nothing," Artemis reminded.

"Oh yeah..."

"How come other gods can get it in with their sisters?" Apollo pointed out.

"THAT'S BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T TWINS!" Apollo fell silent.

"Pwned," I commented.

"Yeah, guys, that's just wrong," Posiden sighed.

"Completely."

"You guys are tools"

"Come on guys"

"That's just..uchh..."

"ENOUGH!" Artemis bellowed, silencing them all. "I don't care if I had sex with my twin brother and I kept it from our children for hundreds of years." Everyone replayed that sentence in our heads.

"Sis... that was messed up," Apollo commented. Artemis fell to the ground with a groan in utter defeat. Percy suddenly turned to Arrish.

"Wait, how old exactly are you?"

"Seventeen."

"How long have you been seventeen?"

"..awhile."

"This isn't some dumb Twilight run-off!" Apollo yelled.

"But Vampires Suck was a good movie!" Grover protested, everyone silently agreeing.

"Anyway," Harris sighed, then paused. "Wait, what the hell were we talking about before?"

"Artemis and Apollo."

"Here we go again," sighed annabeth, and disgust flashed on Harris's face.

"OH RIGHT, MY GODS YOU GUYS! THATS JUST WRONG YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER, ITS JUST BLAHAHAHHA!" I cut Harris off with a hand around his throat.

"Just shut up!" I cried out, irritated.

"You're crushing... my windpipe..." Harris gasped. I released my hand quickly and Harris gulped at the air.

"Sorry, man. Just, shut up, k?"

"But its so disgusting!" Harris complained.

"Dude, I didn't have much of a choice," Apollo said. "I don't go for mortals."

"But Artemis is supposed to be all pure!" Arrish shouted. "What the heck happened to virginity!"

"HOW BOUT YOU TRY NOT DO ANYTHING SEXUAL FOR THOSANDS AND THOSANDS OF YEARS AS HOT GODS RUN AROUND!"

"I think, I'd succeed..." Harris said, glancing in the direction of Apollo winking at himself in a nearby mirror.

"What is the point of this?" I groaned. Everything went deadly silent.

"Nothing..." the winds whispered before the room went black.

The audience stared at the screen in disbelief.

"What... the fuck."

FIN

* * *

**Well... we hope you enjoyed that!**  
**Review 'n junk!**

**-Cally and Laurie**


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